Feeling more myself each day that passes while also feeling like a failure to my channel is an interesting space to be living in. Watching numbers plummet, subscribers leave and content "not perform" just scares me to my core to truly be consistent with YouTube again. The break I intended to be for a year has found it's way into almost three. I lost my footing and kept falling. I tried to post through it but never had a clear vision so I led you guys to be scattered with me. I think writing about it will take that fear away because it'll make me realize I didn't start this channel for that. It'll remind I started this to simply make one person whose like me feel less alone, to feel seen, to feel like I am their friend and I am there for them, to show that the biggest DIY is life and isn't pretty, planned and perfectly executed. It's messy, beautiful, broken and always ends up balancing out one way or another. That we are human beings, not human machines. It's hard to sit back and not say I don't tear up watching this channel go through a low. It makes sense though because I was going through a low. I'm nervous and excited to bring your through the light with me. Love you guys - new renovation episode coming Wednesday 🤎.
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