Regarding where have the videos gone : Youtube has made some changes lately that have made me develop a toxic relationship with my video creation. I've spent so much time trying to make the platform happy that I have become unhappy with my work by extension. I edit and edit and edit and re edit and re-record and I'm still not happy. I then upload the thing I'm not happy with and doubt my work later on and remove it. I'm aware of the problem and am going to start working towards fixing myself in this regard. Hopefully it will stop in the near future and I can stop caring about the way youtube views my content, and get back to seeing what I do as having value and having fun with it again. Sorry for any frustration or inconvenience caused folks. I'm kinda in a sloppy place with video creation right now and I'm working through it.