FOSS4G 2023 Prizren There are no Free (as in Beer) and Open Source Cloud Datastores. Let's have an opinionated look at some of the better alternatives to store and modify, private and public data for spatial applications. Having build FOSS cloud interfaces 4 Geo since forever the presenter decided to look at the current state of data stores. We have pretty much figured out how to do serverless in the cloud. Data at rest though is a completely different beast. The going gets tough the closer you work to the metal. There is an overwhelming multitude of formats, models and standards to chose from. Should we consider relational, document, and/or [column orientated] data files? With too many to discuss we put the spotlight on some exciting new players such as bit.io and geoparquet. A recent Panorama (BBC) report asked; Is the cloud damaging the planet? Is it? Is there anything we can do? We want to share some best practices in regards to building data store interfaces as well as running these services at scale, and in production.