In the wake of the FTX meltdown and crypto price drops, Congress wants to make sure Remy makes good financial decisions…just like them. Parody of Warren G's "Regulate" written and performed by Remy; video produced by Meredith and Austin Bragg. https://reason.com/video/2022/12/09/remy-regulate-ftx-parody/ LYRICS: It was a clear black night, he was sitting at home Looking at a JPEG on his trusty iPhone It was a rare NFT of a hipster mouse So he did what you do, he mortgaged his house And he put in a bid, he was getting the itch He couldn't sit there while he saw those other people get rich But then the market crashed! The value deflated! This shouldn't be allowed—they should regulate it! He saw a JPEG, it looked in demand So he mortgaged his house, spent 400 grand We need to pass new laws to prevent this fate He wouldn't be so dumb if we regulate It was a cool, crisp day, he was watching the game That's when he saw a commercial with folks of acclaim Crypto returns that'll never default! So he thought what you think—that sounds too good to be false! Mortgaged his house, researched the rate Checked out the CEO, nothing seemed out of place But when he checked one morning, the value was gone We should make fraud illegal, this is all just wrong! He did his research and he studied up Then bought invisible tokens this guy just made up It was a harsh consequence for an honest mistake His IQ wouldn't be five if we regulate It was a lukewarm noon, he's on Capitol Hill Cuz he got margin called and was facing a bill You don't understand, I've lost all that I had You need to pass more laws! This is terribly bad! Uh, excuse me—thanks for letting me join But isn't part of the issue him? There's a new dog coin? Maybe the underlying tech is one we shouldn't forestall Maybe one day it's—Shiba Inu, it's called If he hadn't been allowed to be a HODLer He wouldn't have the impulse control of a toddler We could end human nature with a pen stroke today Why do I have a feeling that they're gonna regulate? You shouldn't prey on folks with financial illiteracy By the way, have you seen the state lottery? The Powerball's $1 billion, you better not wait He's gonna make good decisions when we regulate