#masculinity #selfimprovement #sigmamale "Success demands sacrifice" Endless hours as a peon, being the boss’ go-to-guy (or gal) and occasionally staying in after everyone has left is very time consuming and demanding. Do you think you’ll be able to sustain a healthy, compassionate and understanding relationship or that it’s going to help you on your almost meteoric rise to the head of the company? Of course not! Don’t be silly. It’s all about you, even when you’re doing things for someone else; you’re still doing it for you. Sure you’ll miss the loving embrace of another human being, but who freaking cares, you’ll have stacks of money and tons of prestige to cuddle with at night. Confidence is a key element of success. If you’re a bumbling, blithering introvert, you’ll never be successful (unless you’re one of those insufferable ‘talented’ types). Even if you over-estimate your skills, abilities and cunning and you sell up yourself enough, you can convince anyone that you know what you are doing. So what if you don’t have any experience in Stock Brokerage, you’ll learn soon enough. All you have to do is do it with confidence and study, a lot, seriously playing the Stock Market is no joke. Some industries are more cut-throat than others, but no matter what field you’re involved in, there will be moments when you will have to choose between yourself and someone else. So what if Tom has three kids, a sick wife and is on the verge of bankruptcy? What is this, a Charles Dickens novel? Take that promotion like you’ve always owned it, and let Tom find his own way. You might not like this one very much, but very self-absorbed people are clear in their minds as to what they want or need whether this occurs in the moment or longer term. It is not necessary for them to articulate their wants or needs so that others understand their goal or objective and indeed, if asked they may not be able to do so or want to verbalize this. However, their behavior is goal directed and their focus and actions are on getting what they want regardless of the cost to or the discomfort of anyone else. Having clear goals and objectives can seem laudatory at first and these are certainly helpful in many cases. However, when you factor in the effects of a single minded focus, and a willingness to do whatever it takes to reach the goal, you can begin to see that there is a definite downside to the strong focus on goal attainment. Take for example the adult who needs to win and then cheats at chess with his eight year old nephew. Or, the worker who wants to be promoted and uses every opportunity to denigrate or put down co-workers thought to be competitors. Or, the person who spreads unfounded rumors or gossip about someone so as to appear as being more superior and worthy. The actions in these examples show the destructive side of having clear goals and a single minded focus to attain the goal. Another reason the self-absorbed can be successful is that they are unencumbered with concerns about the impact of their actions on others. If someone would confront them, or try to help them see that what they are doing or saying has a negative impact on others they will not be able to see or understand that their actions have any contribution to others’ distress. They are more likely to dismiss any suggestion that what they do or say is in any way improper, hurtful, mean, critical, and the like. They are more likely to deny any responsibility, to characterize others as being overly sensitive or wrong, that others misunderstand them, or that the person confronting him/her is wrong. Confrontation does not work with the self-absorbed and, instead of feeling that you were being helpful, you are more likely to feel frustrated and in more distress than before. It’s hard to accept that the self-absorbed don’t care about their impact on others, but they do not, or at least they do not care enough to make a difference in what they do or say. Thumbnail Art By: Caique Azevedo https://eujovis.artstation.com/